Episode 4: The first move!

He says:
It starts from the very beginning. From the day she says: “Yeah, he’s cute. But let him make the effort.”
Ever heard of a girl using a pick-up line on a guy? No, because she’s the quintessential “good girl.”
Finally, when the guy makes the effort, whether she likes him or not, she squeals: “Look, look, he’s hitting on me.”
If she likes him, even the corniest of lines seem mushy to her. If not, God help the guy, she finds even the best lines corny. Sidey, even.
Next thing you know, she expects you to be romantic. And she wants originality at that — THE prime reason why most guys end up writing yucky, sucky poems. They try to rhyme, all the time, that it’s a crime, and far from sublime. Well, you get the picture.
I fail to understand: Why should a girl be, or expect to be, wooed?
Can’t she just walk up and kiss the guy she likes? She wouldn’t even have to apologise if he’s taken. No guy is ever going to complain. He would probably reward the investment with double the effort.
Look at this objectively. No guy expects a pick-up line. He will happily buy the kiss-at-first-sight proposal. If he doesn’t like you, he’ll still kiss you goodbye. It’s that cordial. Now can you expect a girl to do the same?
No. Because, they are brats. Women have been spoilt with attention. So, they expect men to take the effort all the time. They are lazy. They are creatively challenged, for, they cannot come up with pick-up lines themselves. And, they definitely do not have the guts to use them.
That’s why men are so cool. They put in the effort, what it takes to make it work. Right from the start.

She says:
There was a young man called Cupid,
Who constantly felt rather stupid,
His job was to lob,
Arrows into a slob,
And try make his reasoning lucid.
Because that’s what happens to a man in love. He not only starts indulging in uncontrollable bursts of verse that reads along the lines of `the grass is green and you are my queen,’ but also begins to swagger about with an `I’m the man in charge’ attitude.
What men don’t realise is that women don’t fall for them because of the `effort’ they take to `make it work’. Women fall for them in spite of it.
Because here’s the big secret, guys. You aren’t in control. Not ever.
Remember the first time you saw her across that crowded room, and cunningly positioned yourself so you could make eye contact? Well, she saw you first. And she probably positioned her face in such a way that she could lock gazes with you — without it looking like she was actually making an effort. Which also explains why you can’t ever catch the eye of a woman who’s not interested in you.
When you went to chat her up, she kept the conversation going… till it reached a `let’s meet for dinner’ stage.
She probably chose the restaurant. She wore that irresistible perfume. She smiled mysteriously, forcing you to ask her out again.
You’re just the big fish she was out to hook. Your only job was to prove you’re entertaining enough to keep working on.
And you’re complaining about having to think up a lousy line like “your eyes are blue, true and make me stew”! Get with the programme. As any intelligent woman will tell you, the chase is far more fun than the kill.
And you’re just walking prey.

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Sho-Buzz

September 2005
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