Episode 18: Why would she want to be picked-up?

She says:

I clicked open my gmail inbox, and almost fell off my chair. There it was, boldly printed across the page. “If I were stranded on a desert island, I wouldn’t need three things – I’d just take you,” from some guy I didn’t even know.

And I thought Austin Powers was the only person with enough chutzpah to use pickup lines in this day and age!

A pickup line (and this is to all you squares who’ve never feverishly browsed the net, or taken down lines from movies to impress a girl) is an outrageous icebreaker, used by some smooth operators. And many, many complete klutzes.

But, no matter how witty or pathetic they are, they always achieve one thing. They give women a really good laugh.

And sometimes, that’s the best icebreaker you can possibly have.

After all, most of the best lines are the funny ones. Like the guy who beams, “You know, I’m not really this tall. I’m just sitting on my wallet.” Or a simpler, “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?” Besides, who can resist someone who saunters over and says, “You see my friend over there? (Pointing to friend who sheepishly waves from afar.) He wants to know if you think I’m cute.”

Well, provided he’s cute.

Because a pickup line is a conversation starter and is therefore only as useful as the conversation that follows it. So if you’re going to be a duck anyway, don’t bother swaggering about with just one line in your head.

Especially if it’s the Dumb And Dumber variety: “So yr a girl, huh!” or, “I’m not trying to pick you up. You’re like too heavy. Huh huh huh huh. Get it?”

If you think that’s bad, try being on the receiving end of lines that make you wonder how he manages to walk without melting into a mess of gooey pink slop. Like “I didn’t know angels could fly so low!” Or “Your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the
moon.” Ew!

But even they’re better than the stock, “What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?” Or even more yawn-worthy, “What’s your sign?”

They might trigger a response, but – trust me – she’s far more likely to remember the chap who murmured, “Was your father a thief? Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.” Even if it’s only in a hysterical bout of laughter.

He Says:

Yeah, right.
If pick-up lines were the only things you needed to break ice, man would have bought real estate in Antartica. And built castles the size of skyscrapers.

It’s no big deal really, after all, pick-up lines (all the good ones she listed) are just a website ( http://www.linesthataregood.com has 1200 such lines) or a Google search away. Why would a girl fall for a pick-up line? Unless she wants to be picked up.

Let’s face it, if women went only for men who make them laugh, Senthil, Goundamani, Loose Mohan, Johnny Lever, Vadivelu, Vivek, Crazy Mohan and Cyrus Broacha would be grinning away on a water-bed in some beach-house in Ibiza with a hundred bikini babes around them doing the MTV Grind.

So what role to lines play anyway?

They work as a mere excuse, if she’s waiting to be picked up. She would laugh even if you told her that she needed a dentist appointment, instead of saying “I need an dentist appointment. I just dropped my jaw and need to fix it.”

(Psst: Now, if her theory is true, for that line above, I should be having more dates than the calendar. Instead, my life is the sort of desert where even dates of the edible variety refuse to grow.)

So are there better ways to make her remember you?

Yes, of course.

Sit next to her, make sure the bartender sees you talking to her (What do you talk? Ask her what time it is and leave saying: “See you soon” ) and when she’s not looking, tell the bartender she’s paying and walk away. She’ll find you. If she doesn’t, how does it matter? You just got yourself a free drink. *grin*

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10 responses to “Episode 18: Why would she want to be picked-up?

  1. Anonymous

    he..he.. tatz a real good one.. so either ways, its a win win situation… but al u men out there, dont try this at home oops pubs, unless u want an appointment with ur dentist!

  2. Anonymous

    Its the “role reversal” age. So how bout women using pick up lines men? Men, do tel us how u like d 2 be picked up in a bar!

  3. Queer

    Damn…that was a good one..had a good laugh!

  4. Suderman

    anon:
    but what if the dentist is pretty?? 😀

    anon:
    we don’t need pick up lines. but when you pay for the food and drink… havent you heard the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach… and men wont complain if you walk up and kiss them straight… however ugly you might be! 😀

    queer:
    Cheers! Hic!

  5. 1$ Saint

    lolz..i too agree that girls jus wanna b picked up by anything…
    even as small as one liners..if they are bad well we can have a laugh abt it…well suderman i totally agree wid getin a free drink..but i gez very few guys r like us…who go out wid a over enthu girl who is eligible 2 get a billy bunter…lolz..or is it jus me?

  6. Anonymous

    well, if the dentist is pretty, gud for u.. but wud u stil enjoy if the dentist is handsome????

    and being a woman (esply being un whoz not got her culinary skills intact), i really need 2 kno ths… is th way 2 a man’s heart really thru his stomach? i thot he had other parts which craved for attention… i mean his overhead hair(wen u ruffle them), eyes(wen u stare deeply into them).. etc etc

    anyway, its a damn gud blog.. i was worried tat u guys ditched it.. pls write more often… i wudn mind suggesting afew topics!! it makes very interesting
    reading…

    good luck!!!

  7. diva

    am the same ‘anon’.. now tat am a regular visitor, thoti wud give myself an identity..

    now how many out der dont mind being kissed by an ugly woman? Most women am convinced dont mind being kissed by a cute guy. but if an ugly one attempts the same, well again he wil hav 2 consult his dentist.(am i giving away 2 many ways 2 c ur dentist) i gez itz a biased world after all…

    ciao

  8. Anonymous

    well said diva.. its a biased world… th good looking ones always hog the limelight

  9. Anonymous

    guyz…

    wake up.. am waiting fr ur next blog

  10. diva

    people…

    looks like am th only one reading ur blog.. cuz am th only one posting comments… do i need to kick ur butts now? u sem to be really enthu bout posting messages on ur other blog – the whyte space one

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